View Relationships:Being in a Relationship
Coming to Japan together
If you come to Japan as a couple and your relationship remains stable amidst the mayhem of relocating, then you have that security and support. A familiar person in an alien environment can help both of you in your adjustment period. Keep in mind that it is important to get the balance right between doing things together and separately to ease the potential dependency on one another.
Some women come to Japan because of their partner’s job. For these women it may mean giving up their own job or career at least temporarily and, although they may be happy with the decision to relocate, conflicting feelings regarding identity can arise, especially if they valued an independent lifestyle previously. One advantage of this situation is the greater financial reward that such couples receive. The benefits of being a financially secure couple when moving to another country are not to be underestimated.
If your relationship is not entirely secure, and wasn’t before you came to Japan, then bear in mind that you still have old issues to resolve, as well as the new challenges that relocation brings. If your relationship withstands the challenges of relocating, the relationship may be more fulfilling than before.
Long-distance relationships
For couples attempting long-distance relationships, be aware that you and your partner will not be sharing a common experience during the duration of your stay. Frequent contact via phone, email or regular mail is important to ensure that you can share some level of understanding about your new experiences and those of your partner at home. You are more likely to change than your partner, as you will be living a completely new life. Be aware of your partner’s possible difficulties in adjusting to the changes in you.
A Japan-based relationship
The main challenge, whether your partner is Japanese or foreign, arises when you decide to leave Japan. Before leaving Japan, anticipate the possible changes that are going to happen and ask yourself how you and your partner will change in the new environment, and what demands will be put on the relationship. This is particularly relevant to couples who come from different countries and may have to choose between relocating to their partner’s country and moving back to their own.
If your partner is Japanese
Learn about the communication style of your Japanese partner and that of his culture. Be very honest with yourself as to whether or not you can truly accept him and live with the rules of his culture on a daily basis. Many people say they can respect the Japanese culture on an intellectual level, but living with it on a practical level is a different story. Do not expect him to change, at least not while he lives in Japan.