View Relationships:Bereavement
A death in Japan
In addition to the emotions you have to cope with, the practical arrangements of losing someone in Japan may seem overwhelming, especially if that person was another foreigner for whom you are responsible. If your loved one was Japanese, then usually you will have a network of other Japanese to help you through the practicalities and with whom to share your grief.
First, contact the deceased’s embassy and their next of kin. The embassy can arrange this notification if you do not wish to. Also contact the deceased’s lawyer and employer. The funeral can be held in Japan and a funeral service company can help you with everything from cremation (the usual method in Japan) to organising the burial plot.
Funeral arrangements are expensive in Japan and can cost up to a million yen. Plots are also expensive, especially near big cities. If the deceased was enrolled in the Japanese national health insurance scheme, then the ward office can arrange the funeral and will reimburse you up to ¥70,000. Some private insurance schemes include funeral arrangements. The death certificate and the deceased’s alien registration card must be submitted to the ward office within seven days of the death.
There you must complete the Notice of Death form.
A death at home
More common seems to be losing a loved one at home, and this brings about all sorts of emotional issues related to the fact that you are not in the same country. Common feelings include fear, sadness, loneliness, anger and guilt, not necessarily in that order, and sometimes all at the same time. Of all of those feelings, it is guilt that is probably strongest felt by people living overseas: guilt that you weren’t there, guilt about the fact that the last time you were home you didn’t spend much time with them, etc. After time has been spent grieving with relatives and practical matters have been dealt with, it is common to feel the need to get on with life somehow, and living overseas helps some people to do this.